Bonding over work
They aren't best friends nor are they just colleagues — office spouses in the city are convinced that their's is a 'no holds barred, easygoing' relationship
When in need, I'm just a ping away'," recollects Neha Bansal, a 29-year-old call centre employee, adding, "And I took him literally — kept pinging him whenever my husband and I fought, when I missed my parents in Delhi, when I needed a quick smoke break." In a year, Neha's dependence on her colleague Ramesh and vice versa was such that every little dilemma, joy, sorrow, occasion they wanted to share with each other.
Neha and Ramesh weren't childhood friends, relatives or simply colleagues — over time, they had become, what is termed, office spouse to each other. Long working hours seem to be primarily the main reason for such a relationship to be forged, add to that the fact that with couples working, they hardly get much time with each other, quality time being ruled out almost. Consultant psychiatrist Dr B Kapur explains, "Such cases are on the rise not just in Bangalore but all over the world. What starts of as friendly banter, becomes good buddies and from there to emotional dependence. Often, such relationships move from being Platonic to culminating in physical intimacy and it can get quite messy at times."
Strangely, office spouses don't start off with anything physical in mind — it's just a friendly banter initially which could eventually lead to complete dependence on the colleague of an opposite sex. "There's no way I could manage to be in the same company for three years without Abhijith," states 31-year-old Rukmini S, adding, "Work-related stress is at an all-time high and both of us are on the same project. He's my sounding board." Of course, Rukmini's fiance, who is in the merchant navy, knows Abhijith well and are good friends too. "He's on my speed dial - both at work and in life," she says. Dr Kapur informs that office spouses, like real life spouses, have their bitter-sweet moments. "They have misunderstandings, there are fights and make ups, they want to be constantly updated about each other's whereabouts and the like," he states.
In times when keeping in touch is less than a finger tip away, office spouses sometimes spends half the day together (not literally) in the same work place. Akshay Singh of Jaipur, who has been in the city for the last five years, can't think of a day in office without Shalini. "No, we aren't romantically or even physically involved but she's been there for me ever since I joined this office. We aren't even on the same floor or project but lunch and smoke breaks are together. We are in touch constantly through the Intranet," he states. Would he call her his best friend then? "No, I don't think so but then I can't do without her either — it's this strange dependence which we have managed to restrict to work. We generally don't meet on weekends," he informs.
They aren't best friends nor are they just colleagues — office spouses in the city are convinced that their's is a 'no holds barred, easygoing' relationship
When in need, I'm just a ping away'," recollects Neha Bansal, a 29-year-old call centre employee, adding, "And I took him literally — kept pinging him whenever my husband and I fought, when I missed my parents in Delhi, when I needed a quick smoke break." In a year, Neha's dependence on her colleague Ramesh and vice versa was such that every little dilemma, joy, sorrow, occasion they wanted to share with each other.
Neha and Ramesh weren't childhood friends, relatives or simply colleagues — over time, they had become, what is termed, office spouse to each other. Long working hours seem to be primarily the main reason for such a relationship to be forged, add to that the fact that with couples working, they hardly get much time with each other, quality time being ruled out almost. Consultant psychiatrist Dr B Kapur explains, "Such cases are on the rise not just in Bangalore but all over the world. What starts of as friendly banter, becomes good buddies and from there to emotional dependence. Often, such relationships move from being Platonic to culminating in physical intimacy and it can get quite messy at times."
Strangely, office spouses don't start off with anything physical in mind — it's just a friendly banter initially which could eventually lead to complete dependence on the colleague of an opposite sex. "There's no way I could manage to be in the same company for three years without Abhijith," states 31-year-old Rukmini S, adding, "Work-related stress is at an all-time high and both of us are on the same project. He's my sounding board." Of course, Rukmini's fiance, who is in the merchant navy, knows Abhijith well and are good friends too. "He's on my speed dial - both at work and in life," she says. Dr Kapur informs that office spouses, like real life spouses, have their bitter-sweet moments. "They have misunderstandings, there are fights and make ups, they want to be constantly updated about each other's whereabouts and the like," he states.
In times when keeping in touch is less than a finger tip away, office spouses sometimes spends half the day together (not literally) in the same work place. Akshay Singh of Jaipur, who has been in the city for the last five years, can't think of a day in office without Shalini. "No, we aren't romantically or even physically involved but she's been there for me ever since I joined this office. We aren't even on the same floor or project but lunch and smoke breaks are together. We are in touch constantly through the Intranet," he states. Would he call her his best friend then? "No, I don't think so but then I can't do without her either — it's this strange dependence which we have managed to restrict to work. We generally don't meet on weekends," he informs.
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